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What are you doing right now?

2011-11-26T15:29:00.002-05:00

Clammbon - where have you been all my life?

te' - the Mogwai of Japan?

CN Tower: me and my blackberry, sometimes mom and dad

2011-11-24T00:07:00.005-05:00

It's almost year-end, which means a few things:

a rush at work till Christmas (god forbid we hear the motion in 2012!!)

the annual gift exchange among my former articling cohort (and I'm hosting this year, damn it.)

fretting about the new year (e.g. what is my purpose? what is the meaning of life?)

Overall, things have been going very smoothly this year. It's fair to say that I've settled into my current life. But in the midst of the peacefulness part of me feels unsettled. That part of me wants to just move to Japan and start a new life (maybe go to art school). Sometimes I feel sorry for my partners having to deal with unstable associates like myself.

Associatehood is indeed blissful, much like childhood. As much as people complain about working too much, not getting enough chances to do various things, not knowing how to get clients, we generally can defer to our partners to feed us. Once you become a business owner (e.g. equity partner), the buck stops with you. Not only are you responsible for your own clients you now have to worry about raising your associates until they grow up.

Maybe the koolaid is kicking in - but I quite like where I am. I remember in law school having anxiety about private practice. Now I can't imagine being anywhere but in private practice. It's not all easy - but the pressure has pushed me to try harder to organize my life. While I can't say this for certain, public sector in my area of practice tends to be more suited for someone with a mature career under their belt - not necessarily for newcomer looking to be shown the ropes.

My human resources management theory - new workers are much like goldfish - they will grow until they reach the limit of the space you put them in. If you don't give them room to grow they won't.

My problem - if you can call it that - is that I may not be filling out the room I'm given. But I feel like I'm at the right place to grow to become something. (a really big fish...maybe a shark. at least a tuna)

This year-end I am going to thank my partners...by not whining so much. In this environment when many people are struggling to find a steady job, I am truly grateful that somehow I've ended up where I am.

Hopefully these won't be my famous last words.

Help me!

2011-11-16T22:01:00.007-05:00

Which one? itouch or iphone?

I already have a blackberry so I really don't need a phone. but the idea of facetiming my nephews makes me want to buy a real phone.

Speaking of apple, I have to thank Steve Jobs on behalf of my firm's United Way committee as the self-appointed associate representative. We held a raffle draw for the ipad last year which was such a success that we decided to continue again.

From an economics point of view I was not a big fan of having any raffle draw at all. I felt that it was diverting donations away from the bigger pledges. People won't give as much when they're buying raffle tickets. Ultimately we only raise about a thousand dollars from a draw for a bunch of donated prizes plus the ipad. The firm may as well just donate the purchase money to United Way.

But the ipad's star power more than paid for itself and the meager raffle money it pulled it. Our biggest boardroom was packed last Friday at lunch time with people from all walks of the firm. Everyone wanted a shot at that tablet (even those who dictate their emails!?) In the end, while we only raised a thousand bucks from the raffle, our firm raised over $50,000 from pledges! That is about $5000 more than last year's campaign, and about $10,000 more than two years ago when we didn't have any grand prize with any star power. I'd like to think that Steve Jobs' creation had a hand in raising awareness for the United Way.

For a workplace our size (250+ ish people), that's a lot of money in a two-week, voluntary, fundraising drive. (I hear that at other firms, donations are voluntary but expected. E.g. donors' names and donation amounts are circulated in firm-wide emails).

The best part of all this is that I am part of the committee. So I take all the credit. Maybe next year we should have multiple ipod touches as prizes? or an iphone?

Tokyo Tower: mom and I, and sometimes dad (東京タワー〜オカンとボクと、時々、オトン〜)

2011-10-30T22:20:00.003-04:00

record breaking: cried at every episode. recommended for those whose family is far away, lives alone, and has trouble focusing at work.

東京にもあったんだ

2011-09-30T23:00:00.005-04:00

Tokyoni mo attanda - literally meaning "I was also in Tokyo". It is a song by Fukuyama Masaharu.

Practiced for a year now - things have not been going as smoothly as I had originally expected. I used to think that if you keep your head down and just work hard, good things will happen. But I forgot that the law is a servicing industry and a business. I need to be profitable -- or have the prospect of being profitable. I'm trying, but that's not enough.

I know I am good - relative to people my age, right now, in my practice area. Eventually there will be a time when my skills become obsolete unless I stay current. Somewhere along the way in the past year I forgot about marketing myself to my own bosses.

I don't want to become yet another person working for a paycheck. I don't want to just do what's immediately available to meet my target. I want to build cities, infrastructure, things that make our place a better home for the future. There's a small flicker of passion that almost died out yesterday.

Funny how a Japanese musician's biography can do for a young lawyer struggling to keep her plate full. I still believe that effort counts in life. I don't want to be just another young female lawyer who quits the practice because of stereotypes. I don't want to be just another one of the statistics. I don't know how I'll make it happen but I'll keep trying. I don't think I'm about to give up just yet.

I was reading Fukuyama's biography about how the kid from Nagasaki left home at 18 for Tokyo in hopes of becoming a musician. Instead, he spent years working at bars and playing for no one in the audience. He is now 42 and just released one of the best selling Japanese singles in history.

Sometimes maybe if we had just toughed it out a little longer, we would have realized how close we were to making it.

on that note, here's a picture of me floating.

It's never too late to take up a new hobby. some cocktail bar made for a good setting for my T2i.

good company is hard to come by. Here's another inspirational person. don't give up, aimz.

Not everything has to serve a business purpose.

Famous last words

2011-09-29T23:08:00.002-04:00

My high school English teacher said to me, "effort doesn't count in life."

Effort won't win you the case, and won't pay your bills. But I'm not going to give up just because it's not working out now. I will die trying. When I make it, I want to be able to look back and remember how much it used to suck.

年輕時不受點苦頭,到成功時是不會欣賞.

I love you & I need you, Fukushima

2011-08-30T10:06:00.000-04:00

福島, 頑張って!

日本のドラマを見たいですよ!

2011-08-16T22:46:00.006-04:00

今夜は日本語を勉強しますね.一年前に勉強しはじめました. 先週から,毎晩仕事のあとで,私は早く家に帰って,日本語の練習をしました. でも, 私の日本語は全然ダメですよ!

今年は日本で本当に難しです. みなさん, 頑張りましょう!

そして, こちらは私の好きな俳優です-福山雅治. 彼も良い歌手です.

and my favourite...mad skills on the guitar

Make my glass half full, please.

2011-06-06T22:46:00.005-04:00

For the next month, my bedroom is getting supersized - from 100 square feet to just under 500 square feet, complete with a 26 inch tv, ensuite bathroom, balcony, a piano, a stereo, microwave, oven, fridge, washer and dryer and a dishwasher. Some may call it "sleeping on the couch". I call it "being a good daughter by giving up the bedroom for her visiting parents".

My friend told me that if I wasn't so negative, I would be a really awesome person. I think it's time to be awesome.

2011 Q3 and Q 4 will be awesome.

In my life

2011-05-12T12:37:00.003-04:00

it still hurts a little when I hear about another's bad breakup, especially ones involving lies. Today I heard another one. The hurt comes from giving up your trust only to find out that you've been played. I'd like to think that I'm just an eternal optimist, but others say that I'm gullible. Nothing hurts more when people you trust take advantage of your faith. It's so insulting to the person discovering the lies. Like today, I heard from this person describing the shame that i once felt. "you feel like a big loser not knowing all along."

A wise man once said this about finding "the one": find that person who will love you for who you are, hang on to that person and never let go. I guess the trick is to find someone who understands what it really means to love. In my view, you don't know what love is if you would abuse the trust of someone who loves you.

Diana F - the travel series

2011-04-17T22:11:00.002-04:00

tomare - stop (if you're a bike).

Tsukiji - hotate yaki (roast scallops)

Asakusa - Kaminarimon

Mebaru. Sakana. Fish.

SMAP!

Motsunabe もつ鍋

2011-03-09T00:07:00.002-05:00

By far the most disgusting thing I have eaten in my life - this is "motsunabe" or "もつ鍋". もつ is Japanese for "internal organs", I gather. The motsu in question is kobe beef offal. I ordered this for my last night in Tokyo, from an underground bar in Shinjuku. They bring you the pot with everything still raw in the pot. You let this simmer for 7 minutes or so and then it's ready to go. I had the garlic or "ninniku" flavoured broth. The intestine tasted like the fat around a sirloin steak. The rest of the pot was mostly veggies and soup. It was delicious, especially with a Kirin beer (or "bi-ru").

Travel blog - San Francisco

2011-01-27T13:38:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting at the gate at the San Francisco airport, waiting to board my flight to Narita. It's been hell trying to get on a flight. my expedia cheap ticket to Newark was cancelled less than 12 hours before take off. I only found out about the cancellation when I tried to check in, and noticed that the ticket had a Friday departure date instead of Thursday. A few hours on the phone finally got me booked on a flight to San Francisco, but the agent wasn't able to confirm it right away as there had been too many rebooking. I never got an official reason for the cancellation, but I would suspect it has something to do with the storm in the northeast US.

I would like to feel exhilarated but in fact, I miss work, and I'm sleep deprived. I'm frantically checking my work emails even though nothing's requiring my attention. Travelling alone does dampen the mood a bit. It would be nice if I have more time to leave the airport and explore.

The timing of my vacation is also a bit ill-timed. I've only been working full time since September and I haven't been as busy as I thought i would be. So the need to have a vacation is diminished. I think my family would like to see me for Chinese New Year, though.

Maybe it is a good mental break to have a 2 week time out away from work. I've been dealing with some interpersonal issues in my professional life - just trying to learn to accept my new role as a service provider, as someone's advisor, and as colleagues, and as an employee of in a partnership. Someone more senior once told me that the second year of your practice is the worst year after the novelty of being a lawyer wears off. I'm not sure what to make of that comment at this stage. When I was still an outsider, I used to think that being a lawyer would be stressful because of the long hours and the reading. Now that I am practicing, I think the stress comes from trying to figure out what role I am playing in the bigger scheme of things - in the partnership, in the business, in the public interest.

Rather than writing these feelings off or acting impulsively, I will acknowledge them and try to understand their underlying reasons. I read this somewhere http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059823679423598.html

And I am out.

Travel blog #2 - Tokyo

2011-01-07T22:59:00.001-05:00

July 2, 2010 6:22pm Tokyo

I'm stuck in traffic on a bus to my hotel, Shinjuku Washington hotel. I just passed a suntory beer ad. I think that was the brand Bill Murray was advertising in Lost in Translation. There are other ads for weird products and westerners as models. These ads reminded me of Andrew Bell.

Andrew Bell was a guest speaker at one of the environmental career nights UWSP hosted back at UW. I had emailed a bunch of alumni working in environmental fields to ask them to speak about their career paths. Andrew was one of the best speakers we had. He had a background in engineering but went to Japan to ride his bike across the country teaching English. He also spoke about being a model for some shaving cream ad. Him talking about shaving his chest stuck with me forever. I think he also said he wore weird clothing and danced but I think I'm starting to confuse this story with Andy Samberg. Did Andy Samberg even model for anything in Japan? I'm too sleep deprived to know.

Andrew Bell wasn't bad looking but you wouldn't think of him as the model type. Apparently the Japanese people are obsessed with white people and will put any above average looking white people on a billboard.

The other thing I've learned while stuck on a Tokyo expressway is that this city looks a lot like hong kong. Same building style, same number of cars, same density. They even share the same mugginess. It's a Friday evening and I can see office workers still tolling away at their desk. This reminds me to stick with my number one rule about work: never work late on a Friday.

There's a strange sense of familiarity I feel with respect to this city. It's my first time here, although I have stayed inside the airport once before on a connecting flight. But its reminding me a lot about home. Some of these buildings look like the financial core near the firm. Some remind me of Central in Hong kong. Tokyo so far seems to me like represents what it would look like if Hong Kong and Toronto had a child. There are fewer people here on the streets but the same density like hong kong.

Who are these people still working at 6:40pm?

I have already learned from reading a lot of signage that the word "emergency" in Japanese looks exactly the same as the Chinese word for "very". There were a bunch of very exits and very phones at the airport.

I don't think I'll have any culture shock here.

Vancouver Portland Seattle road trip

2011-01-06T22:40:00.003-05:00

These are the notes from that trip back in the summer. I don't recall Matt throwing up.

Vancouver, Portland and Seattle itinerary

July 22 Vancouver

Had lunch at this horrible pub got the salad something by rob feenie
Hung out at Starbucks
Then we had ramen at Santouka
Hotel at empire landmark 3208 room

July 23
Lunch at Korean place
Had grilled fish and tofu soup
Matt had mixed meat rice
Went to blenz
Then Stanley park for tanning at the beach
Went to English bay
Had burger at fat burger
Met Genevieve on denman ave
Had gelato

July 24
I slept in till 2
Matt walked around
Met at star bucks
Matt had japadog and lychee soft drink with bead
Went to yaletown and David lam park
Went to a cafe and had cake
Met shawna
Walked around yaletown and burrard shopping area
Met upnwith genevieve for dinner
Had sushi at robson
Went to her apartment at barclay which looked like a madmen unit
Watched fireworks at English bay

July 25
Went to pick up car at enterprise on bute street
Got Suzuki sx4
Left city at around 11
Got through border just after 1
Went to IHOP for lunch
Then stopped at tumwater Starbucks
Where we met an Australian biker on his way to Vancouver
Got to portland after 9:19pm
Checked in at red lions by the conference center 536 room
Went to dennys for dinner
Had some burger with some hash brown thing
Matt had the skillet

July 26
Took the tri met
Had lunch at some pub in the downtown core
Had chicken salad with corn and a local beer
Went to some store and bought chocolate chip flavored lip balm
Matt went to the bathroom where man next to jerked off
Walked to pearl district where we got a coffee near the square
Found the go by streetcar sign
Went to union station
Walked to Chinatown
Then went to the riverside and laid down on grass
Had Italian for dinner called macaroni
I had Sirloin and ricotta cheesecake

July 27
Went to star bucks where they did not have java chips
So i got iced latte with a coupon for 2 dollar drink same day after 2 pm
Took tri mets to downtown
Went too far past fare less zone.
Bought portland shirt and earrings
Had lunch at the stalls
Had roast chicken at Thai place
Matt had some ho fun
Ate at the square across from the courthouse 9th circuit (i think)
Went to star bucks and used coupon to get iced lemonade green tea with coupon
Walked to 11th avenue where the nice lady helped us find the streetcar to aerial tram
Took streetcar to aerial tram near Oregon health and science u
Wen tup and toured hospital healing garden
Attempted the 4t trail partially
Took streetcar to nob hill
Had gelato at this cafe which was celebrating it's birthday for 2 dollars gelato
Went to urban outfitter where I bought jacket and found nice couch
Had dinner at laurel wood pub on patio
Had pork sliders and wheat beer golden something
Took streetcar back to downtown
Transferred to tri mets where the train was very late

July 28
Battery died. Car wouldn't start. Around noon
Robs roadside assistance
Boosted car
Went to star bucks for coffee
Waited at front of hotel
Went to village inn pancake house for lunch. Breakfast meal.
Free pie day.
Left portland around 3
Stopped for gas and got chips and organic raspberry tea at chevron
Got to Seattle around 7
Silver cloud hotel at broadway
Room 513
Went walking around Capitol hill
Saw some filming across from value village
Ate dinner at sushi place
Had really good chicken Katsu and sake
Matt had really good mackerel
Went walking farther and had ice cream
Balsamic strawberry ice-cream
Sat across from jazzy lounge thing in heritage building

July 29
Went swimming at 7:20
Hopped back to bed by 8:30
Walked down pike then pine street
To pike street market
Had late lunch at lowell
Had shrimp and crab melt
Got free chowder because of slow service
Went to first star bucks
Walked around harbor and tanned
Walked through businesses by water
Walked to pioneer square with weird doily thing
Walked back to downtown core into downtown transit tunnel
Matt got an orca card
Felt sick. Feverish.
Walked to qfc for groceries and bought tv dinners plus wine

July 30
Had lunch at pike street fry
Had fried oysters and sangria
Took bus to space needle in bell town
Had coffee at bell town cafe where lady's child is studying for GMAT
Walked back to free zone and took bus
Bought red frilly shirt and underwear from h and m
Matt bought 2nd pair of shades
Got car at hotel and drove to bellevue to meet Bianca and mike
Took 520 bridge exited at 148 s
Went to the star bucks at 20th
Left for Vancouver 630
Got gas at shell
Then macdonalds at 9 ish
Had southern chicken sandwich combo with real fruit smoothies. Strawberry banana
Free mcflurry
Got to border around 10:20
Picked up Genevieve around 11
Got lost on the way to Richmond night market
Got there at almost midnight
Had lychee green tea with jelly
Quail eggs wrapped in bacon
Fried herrings
Dropped off genevieve
Checked in at plaza 500 around 130
Room 503

July 31
Went to anna's cake house on east broadway
Had large coffee, cheesecake, sausage roll with gift certificate
Went to 11th and granville to ecco and met Felix
Went to return car to enterprise
Got 61 bucks off for that roadside assistance
Walked to waterfront and had japadog in parking lot
Walked to star bucks in station
Walked to gas town and met up with Genevieve
Walked to city library and bought kushi for dinner
Had p Tori and soft boiled egg with rice and karage plus green tea for dinner
Sat in library and ate
Walked to Chinatown and saw giant abacus
Saw Chinatown night market and bought necklace
Saw Chinese art guy with tattoos on face
Gave us free bag
Went to wave coffee to pee and got tea
Ladies bathroom locked up by potential drug user
Genevieve caught her bus.
Took sky train back to waterfront and transferred to canada line
Got off at broadway city hall
Leaned on matt then he threw up.

KIT

2010-11-29T23:46:00.004-05:00

Keep it together. When someone gives you drama, just walk away.

2 months

2010-11-12T01:37:00.002-05:00

Watching someone break is worse than breaking yourself. But it'll be alright. Just get some sleep and tomorrow will be a better day. That was the advice I got from the same person breaking down today.

Commuting had been the number one reason for my neurosis last year. Sleeping has cured my crying. 2 months in and so far so good.

日本語は面白いですね！

2010-11-03T22:30:00.004-04:00

でも，日本語も難しいです。毎週月曜日トロント大學に行って，日本語カラスに行きます.私の先生はおばあさんですね. 私と先生は地下鉄に帰りましょう。
日本語を大好きです。
豚カツを大大好きですね！
日本の男の人は綺麗です。

だから，来年私は日本行きます！そして，来年箱根の温泉に行って，料理を食べます！一人桜咲きましょう！

Carpe diem: the post articling recollection.

2010-09-09T01:56:00.006-04:00

The scowl has become one of the most common reactions from friends when they hear about the hours I worked during my articling year. People would ask me how I managed to survive the grueling hours. My short answer is always one of the following: "the files are interesting", "I like my coworkers", "I need it for my license".

I figured that no one ever has time to hear my long answer. I figured that I didn't have time to craft a long answer eloquent enough to describe how I felt over the past year. But I also figured that I should document my thoughts while they are still fresh. So here is how I managed to survive my articling year.

I always remembered that there was an end. When you know you only have 10 months to impress, you excel. When you know you only have 10 months to learn, you endure.

Articling was my biggest fear after graduation. I feared the anxiety, the stress, the symbolic end to my youth. The reality was that articling made me live my life like a terminal patient. The more I feared that I was running out of time, the more I strove to live my life to the fullest.

During my hectic and irregular schedules, I treasured my personal time. I ran a marathon. I went to Hong Kong for a week to meet my nephews. I went to see Cherry Blossoms at High Park before drafting a factum. I always took my Friday nights off.

That's not to say that it had been an easy year. Living life to the fullest took a lot of effort. With finite time and infinite possibilities, some things had to give. As a wise man once said: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. If I have the energy and time, I will go see a friend, or go proofread that memo, or do that mount of dishes.

The billable system audits not only your bills to your clients, but whether you have wasted precious minutes at the office. At the end of my day if I don't meet my own expected billable target, I would reflect on my day and try to account for my inefficiencies. When every minute of your time spent at work is tracked, you realize how much more time you would have if you avoid sporcle (or the internet in general), or the vending machine (aka the calories corner).

Imagine if there were an audit at the end of your life.

This is how I survived articling. This is how I will survive anything from here on. Work hard. Play harder. Carpe diem.

Gatsby commercials

2010-08-11T00:15:00.004-04:00

I love these commercials. I also love Kimutaku.

Apparently that animal on his lap is a bear, not a dog.

This man is almost 40. Can't believe it.

Hikaru Utada

2010-08-08T16:48:00.001-04:00

In my last post I mentioned my Japanese pen pal. Today I found the cassette tape that Eri had mailed me. It was a mixed tape of Cocco and Hikaru Utada.

Here's one of the tracks on the tape: Automatic by Hikaru Utada

Eri Imamura

2010-08-05T23:28:00.004-04:00

Koi Japanese Tattoo Cuff

Today I found the envelope from my Japanese pen pal from more than ten years ago. The content of the envelope is missing, but I recall receiving a cassette tape and a letter from her maybe 12 or 13 years ago. We found each other online on some Canadian alternative rock band forum. This was before ICQ/ MSN. I think there was some chat room on something called mIRC or something like that, where fans would go to discuss concerts and exchange bootleg tapes and stuff. I was a huge Our Lady Peace fan.

So I decided to google her and turns out she's now in New Mexico working as an artist. This is her website: http://www.eriimamura.com/

Travel blog #1

2010-07-07T12:45:00.000-04:00

July 7, 2010 1:45pm Tokyo

I just had one of the best tomatoes courtesy of the izakaya men of Hakone yesterday. These are so sweet and juicy you don't need to put salt or anything on them. I was told to just eat them like apples. They we right!

By the time we left the onsen called Kamon, the shuttle had stopped operating. We walked back to town which was 15 minutes away and found all the shops had closed. With an hour left before our train, we decided to venture into the backstreet to find food.

At first we thought that the chef of the izakaya hated us. He yelled at Laura to close the door and wouldn't give me my asahi beer. It was clearly a local watering hole since the men in there were freely chatting with each other. Laura was able to make out what they were saying and turns out they we trying to figure out where we came from. They said we looked Chinese but spoke English. There was one guy sitting at the bar with better command of English so he acted as translator. I think everyone was just amused at the fact that three young girls wandered into their bar. The translator told us that Hakone is very similar to Jasper in terms of nature. He also said that Canada is very "international", whereas Japan is "one".

They men asked us out to party but they were half joking, given that they were like 80 years old. One of them said he went to New York many years ago. The judo master laughed when we gave him thumbs up for the grilled fish meal. It felt like we were eating at someone's home. At the end the men gave us tomatoes to take with us and we took pictures with them. The translator said we will never forget Hakone. The whole night went from a dinner at a sketchy hole in the wall to one of the best meals I've ever had while traveling.

The onsen experience was very good as well. I think all of us were a bit apprehensive about being completely naked in front of each other. All that melted away in 2 minutes in a hot spring. We spent 3 hours there just alternating soaking and chilling in our birthday suit sitting buck naked on a wooden bench next to each other. There were outdoor open air baths, with smaller pots for individual soaks. We tried an individual steam box that resembled a torture mechanism from the Spanish Inquisition. There were three larger baths, one of them being in a cave. The water was very hot and slightly salty. Before and after soaking, the women would sit on the chairs and lather up and rinse with shower head.

Afterwards we laid on bamboo lounge chairs and sipped green tea in front of the window facing the Hakone mountains. There were no other non-Japanese guests at the onsen so I think we were lucky to be able to experience the authentic onsen experience.

I hope to return to japan one day and stay over night at an onsen.

Garage sale?

2010-06-06T20:59:00.002-04:00

I didn't realize that I own so many things - things that are too good for the landfill, not good enough to be donated, and not recycleable. I've got all these used three ring binders, post-it note pads, scratched up old photo frames, and book marks! GAH! Why did I accumulate so many stupid book marks?

How much should I price an old piggy bank in the shape of an Asian grandma? Also discovered an old board game named Mr. Mouth.

I have spent 2 days in my study trying to sort things out and it's just getting messier. Two boxes full of law books and a bunch of bookmarks.

Maybe I'll have a garage sale in August.

The best album ever.

2010-06-04T00:54:00.002-04:00

You need good music to get through those late nights. This got me through the winter months. In Rainbow is the best Radiohead album and this video is my favourite Radiohead bootleg concert. Reckoner and Jigsaw were on loop for about three months.

Diana F with a 35 mm back

2010-04-30T00:07:00.005-04:00

I bought the 35 mm back to go with my Diana F, so that I can practice taking pictures using 35 mm without wasting my expensive 120 mm film. I also got a super wide lens and fish eye lens to go with it. The good thing about taking 35 mm pictures in a medium format camera is apparently the sprocket holes. It took several tries at Blacks to get them to print the pictures properly. But here are some of the results:

April showers

2010-04-07T23:05:00.002-04:00

I cannot wait for the May flowers. April is the worst month out of the entire articling year. I miss seeing smiley faces.

Diana F

2010-03-14T17:29:00.003-04:00

I love my new toy - the lomography Diana F with flash. I took this in Hong Kong. The double exposure was purely an accident as I had no idea how to wind the film properly. 120 mm film rocks my socks! I can't wait to use the gel colour filter.

वर्क लाइफ balance

2010-02-27T10:56:00.002-05:00

That's supposed to read "Work life balance". But somehow blogger's got the hindi function on and translated it to something else. Whatever.

What does that mean, work life balance? Is "work" not part of "life"? If so, then how do you balance something that's one and the same? As a woman in her mid 20s I am presupposed to want and seek "work life balance". But I don't even know what that means -- Sure, I tend to work more than the usual 25-year-old, even by industry standard. But is it so sad that I enjoy the road to becoming a good lawyer? I don't think my unhappiness with some of the things in life has to do with the fact that I work a lot. Work has actually saved me, in a strange sense, by giving me the one constant in a time of flux. Nothing is certain in my life right now, except the knowledge that the office is always open. There is no use denying that I thrive when I am at work. I find satisfaction in being asked to find a way to solve a client's problem and then finding that answer. I find comfort in having colleagues to talk over my rash decisions (I want really short bangs! I want to buy a condo! I want to move to Hong Kong for good!) and being told that I am not thinking these through carefully. If you love your job, you know what I mean -- you look
forward to going to work despite the slush and the long hours and documents to review. I used to think that I was working to pay my dues, but I don't think I was correct anymore.

Of course I can't see myself living this way forever. But when have we ever lived the same way for long periods in our lives? I hope some day that I will not want to go work on a weekend because someone has made me breakfast in bed. In the meantime, I would rather work and be productive than lie in bed for longer than I should and develop self-doubts.

Chinese New Year in Hong Kong

2010-02-14T04:15:00.003-05:00

It's a family reunion in Hong Kong during my week of vacation (or "vacay", as my old officemate would say). I had timed it perfectly so that I would arrive on the first day of Chinese New Year, which coincidentally happens to fall on Valentines' Day. So instead of eating take-out and watching sappy romance movie by myself, I get to see my parents and go to some fobby concert with my dear sister whom I haven't seen since she gave birth last summer.

Mixed bag of feelings hit me as I stepped off the plane. It felt like eons ago since my last visit, when in fact I just visited 7 months ago. Trying to recall memories of my last trip is like remembering bits of a past life in which I swam and ran nearly every day in the summer, pigged out on fish balls and bargained for cheap clothes in Mong Kok. What a stark difference from the last 7 months of articling--eating swiss chalet for dinners daily and musing with coworkers about mundane office topics -- like whether the sound-proof ceiling tiles are edible and what office tools I can use to score the window for an emergency escape. It feels like a lifetime has passed by since my last visit. Maybe I have become a bit jaded, but probably I am writing under the influence of having just watched half of Season 2 of Mad Men during my flight over the Atlantic.

Innocence (2000-2009)

2010-01-07T22:24:00.006-05:00

I would like to think that 2010 officially marks the end of my innocence, but that would imply that I was innocent when really gullible was what I was.

2009 was when they edited out "gullible" from the Oxford English Dictionary.

I am starting this decade with some positive attitudes and a healthy dose of skepticism/ cynicism. Bring it.

Best of Belleville

2009-10-12T16:21:00.005-04:00

The Reid's Dairy -- famous for their cheese curds and other dairy products.

The 401 east at 7am.

The Big Apple, Colborne Ontario -- famous for their pies.

It's been incredibly busy the past couple of months. But I managed to make the best out of work. Again, I love my coworkers -- the jokes and the borderline harassment are part of the reasons why I get up and go to work every day. Articling is always going to be hell -- the most you can hope for is a bunch of people you can have fun and joke with. I am blessed in that regard.

Another reason I get up (really early) for work is because I get to go to court -- very often. As a student at law I have limited court appearance rights. So most court appearances I do are for minor incidents -- things that I can't screw up. I do a lot of adjournments, some motions and status hearings and on the rare occasion, I get to conduct my own trial in provincial offences court. I savour every chance I get to be on my feet in court -- even if I only state my name and seek a new date for my next appearance. It's good practice for advocacy and the stakes are low.

Last week, I had to attend provincial offence court in Belleville. The drive was about just under two hours and at 7am, the colours of the sky was beautiful. I can't wait till the end of articling when I drive across the country and see how beautiful this continent can be. I stopped along the way to pick up some pie at the Big Apple and some cheese curds from Reid's Dairy for my coworkers. I felt like I went on a road trip. And I got the adjournment I needed. Win-Win. When the going gets tough, you need to savour the small things in life to keep going.

...and it only gets worse

2009-09-19T11:34:00.004-04:00

this week was pretty shitty. I felt like I was being punished for going out on my birthday weekend. And the inevitable happened -- I screwed up at work. It was a pretty dumb mistake that I did that costed another lawyer a weekend to fix. And the worst thing is when you can't even make it up to them because you already have too much on your plate.

I should be happy that no one was really affected by my mistake -- nothing I do is that important that would cost a client a case. And the lawyer was nice about it. Nonetheless it was the kind of sobering experience I anticipated would tip me over breaking point. I told myself I wouldn't cry at work -- not only did I cry, I cried in front of the lawyer.

On that note, when people closed their door to their office you should never knock and insist on coming in. About 5 other people decided it was a good idea to interrupt my breakdown with mundane things, like dropping off the photocopies and interoffice documents. After that, I went drinking the night away with coworkers. I missed my run this morning. again.

So I think I need a new goal -- to develop thicker skin. It's just a job. I shouldn't lose my shit over it. And it's only September.

Garden update

2009-09-07T18:49:00.007-04:00

My veggie garden

Buttercup squash: you're going to be mashed with butter. You'll be delish.

A tiny watermelon

Eggplants: parmasean. mmmm.

Cherry tomatoes and my toes. That shade is called "90210".

My garden always gives back even when I ignore it. Here's the inventory to date:

Cherry tomatoes: unlimited supply

Watermelons: two

Eggplants: three

Butternut squash: one

Published.

2009-08-30T13:01:00.002-04:00

The article I wrote last summer is finally published in the U of T Faculty of Law Review. I got the hard copies in the mail on Friday. Unfortunately it's not online yet. The above image is just a cropped image of the proofs from Spring...the page numbers are all wrong and my article is longer than three parts.

If anyone is interested, I'll email them a copy of my paper.

Work life balance

2009-08-26T19:52:00.002-04:00

It's week four at the firm -- and I haven't broken my golden rule yet. I told myself I will never cry at work again. I did cry at work this week but not because of work -- it was because I simply miss my sister and family too much. I was writing out a card for my sister who's about to give birth in less than 24 hours, on the other side of the globe. And as I was writing the sentence "...I hope to see you very soon" my eyes just welled up.

Work life balance hasn't been easy. There's been some drama outside of work--which is ridiculous because I spent so much time at work! But oh well. Such is life. I'm not going to sulk any more. I'm not going to let myself turn sour and bitter.

I've got 1000 pages to read / skim /summarize for Friday and I have a client meeting tomorrow and a weekend of work. But I also have lovely coworkers who would save me the lone Peak Frean cookie from their client meetings because they all know I've been sulking. I love the guys at work. They are really my second family. I've told them that if I end up being a cat lady, I'll be sure to have five cats, one named after each of my fellow articling colleagues.

I don't want to jinx it but I think it'll be a fine year ahead. Just have to make sure I don't get fired.

On other notes, I have a basket full of vine-ripen cherry tomatoes. My lettuce has bolted--they've blossomed into ugly stalks of tiny white flowers. My beets are going through something...puberty? and i've got one eggplant growing.

To my dry cleaners

2009-08-25T00:14:00.003-04:00

Why do you close by dinner time? Why don't you work on sundays? Why don't you open before 9am?

Working

2009-08-08T09:16:00.005-04:00

It's my first week back and I'm going in this weekend. I also stayed late last night. I've forgotten what the cleaning lady on the night shift looks like. On my cab ride home, just as I was about to vent about the insane amount of work, my cab driver mentioned how slow business had been for him. "A lot of people on Bay Street lost their jobs."

A lot has changed since last summer. I shouldn't complain.

Best of Hong Kong

2009-08-02T07:27:00.014-04:00

Hong Kong is home. Here's a bunch of photos which sums up my feelings for Hong Kong.

Transit: so efficient and a million times better than the TTC.

Skyscrapers: they make me feel so small. This was taken outside IFC in Central.

McCappuccinos: why don't we have this in Canada? They also sell cheesecakes and lamingtons in McCafe.

Starbucks that pretend to be a Chinese teahouse: it's kind of lame, but still cooler than the Starbucks we have here in Canada.

Double decker bus: alternative to the sightseeing bus tours and better than a roller coaster ride.

Public housing: I love hanging out in the public housing community. It's so laid back.

Fresh fruits: That's what I miss the most! Tropical fruits that are affordable! Lychees and mangoes are a thousand times better than apples and oranges.

Fresh fish: not a huge fan of fish, personally. But the scene of cut up fish reminds me of childhood groceries shopping in real markets. Fresh fish don't stink.

Public housing photo exhibit: I checked out this photo exhibit capturing the everyday lives in public housing complexes. People did aerobics in the rec area.

Night life: this is my idea of partying in Hong Kong. I spent my nights with the swans near my home and tested out my camera's night mode.

Ghetto races in humidity: This wasn't even at the 1k mark - hence the big smile. Check out that old man and his rocking body! I love community organized races--such a contrast from the big corporate-sponsored races we have in Canada. There were monkeys hanging out along our routes. The organizers hand wrote our bib numbers at 5k and 10k and used stop watches. We got asian pears at the finish lines.

Dim sum: I think I've met my year's quota of dim sum while in Hong Kong. Dim sum is such a popular past time in Hong Kong. It's perpetually packed at dim sum restos even during the week at all given hours.

Pass!

2009-07-25T11:10:00.002-04:00

That was a relief. It's a nice way to wrap up my vacation. I think everyone I know passed the bar as well. Kudos to my very awesome index group and our 150-page indices!!

Have to start packing soon.

Long vacation

2009-07-22T07:13:00.004-04:00

I've got a few more days left in Hong Kong. The other day on the double decker bus, I filmed a bunch of videos as my bus moved through Hong Kong Island. I'll be looking at these when I feel home sick once I'm back in TO. I think I am in my most relaxed state right now. Everything is rosier on vacation.

My last big vacation was in Europe after graduating from Waterloo. I saw things a bit differently after that vacation. Everything seems more colourful after that trip. That optimism was wearing thin after 3 years of stress and law school drama. But I think this vacay to Hong Kong is going to be another one of those life changing experience that will help me transition from law school to articling.

Watermelons are precious

2009-07-18T10:50:00.008-04:00

...especially the oddly shaped ones. Here's a collection of the overpriced and strange watermelons that I have encountered in Hong Kong.

This is a square-shaped watermelon. I think they grow the fruit in a box.

I really doubt this watermelon is 70kg. I'm not even that heavy and I look bigger than this.

Then there's the heart-shaped watermelon for that special someone.

And this melon is 7 grand HKD. that's about 1 grand Cdn. I want to slap the person who would buy this watermelon.

A year in review...

2009-07-11T18:54:00.004-04:00

I woke up at 4am today. It's one of those days when I feel particularly sentimental. I'm turning 25 this fall, and nothing I've planned so far has worked out exactly the way I had envisioned. One of my old managers used to be my role model--he had a meticulous life plan and stuck to every milestone he set for himself. Bachelor degree at 23, Grad school by 25, married by 26, 2 kids and management position by age 30. He is the embodiment of discipline and ambition that I so desperately tried to emulate.

But I'm kind of glad the way things have organically worked out for me. It's been kind of surreal where my life is heading given all the changes in the last year. One thing I've learned from this past year is to let go of these age milestones that so many people, especially women, set for themselves. It seems that as we grow up, our age becomes our burden--a measuring stick for expected achievements and success. "By age __ you ought to have done __." (Just think about the last time when your parents reminded you kindly that when they were your age, they have already achieved or purchased something that you have not.)

My theory is that we are conditioned to measure our success this way because we grew up in a cohort educational system. We spent our formulative years comparing ourselves with everyone in our age group (read: comparing the date when you first got your periods, when you first needed to wear a bra, etc.).

Lately, I've started to abandon this mode of thinking. Why force myself to meet a self-imposed deadline for everything? It's intuitive enough, and yet difficult to enforce in practice. But I'm going to try to let go of all the age milestones that I've set for myself and just focus on enjoying my life at the moment.

I love Hong Kong

2009-07-11T02:06:00.003-04:00

This is the first scene that greeted me when I got off the plane. The last time I went back to Hong Kong during the summer was in 1999. I've forgotten what the summer is like in Hong Kong--sweltering heat and humidity. I looked like I ran 20k just standing outside waiting for the bus--completely drenched in my own sweat. It's no wonder that there aren't many runners outside in Hong Kong--dehydration is pretty common here. There's a typhoon coming today which should bring heavy rain through the evening. Hopefully it won't postpone my 10k race tomorrow--my first race overseas!

Babies are precious...

2009-07-01T12:38:00.004-04:00

and vulnerable. I just heard some sad news from my sister today that her friend had just lost her baby in the last trimester. Nothing sadder than mourning the death of your unborn after you've had a baby shower. Imagine the pressure and the burden of telling your family and friends that news!

I've never realized how precious little babies are until my own sister is carrying her babies. Sure the bar exams were bad, but I don't think anything can beat the stress of being responsible for another person's life!

Motherhood ain't easy -- go hug a mom today!

Summer of Tiff begins...

2009-06-28T16:19:00.002-04:00

The solicitor exam is done. It was the worst thing I've ever had to experience. There were some horrible questions about tax on which I had to utilize my limited math skills. It did not go well at all, but I'm going to plead ignorance for the next 6 weeks and enjoy the summer until they mail me my results.

The last week's been full of training - running and drinking (training my liver to regain its tolerance level). I'm having some ladies over and we're going to have a party over mojitos. Sure it's raining, but I'm going to sit out on my patio. In case you can't tell, the drinking has already begun.

The Summer of Tiff will be awesome.

Music break: Bjork and Tori Amos

2009-06-16T15:07:00.001-04:00

Joga by Bjork

Father's son by Tori Amos

Barrister Exam

2009-06-13T21:08:00.003-04:00

I wrote my Barrister Exam on this past Tuesday. I thought about not blogging about it for fear that this entry would haunt me later if I have to rewrite the exam. I honestly don't know how it went. All I know was that I got to the test centre at 7am, and didn't leave the building until 6pm. That's 11 hours of my life I'd never get back.

They had crazy security. My tissue had to be thrown out (although someone else's tissue survived the horror...). Apples were thrown out by the security. We carried the limited number of permitted items into the test room in a one-gallon clear bag. There was a giant digital clock projected on the walls, assigned seatings and wrist bands.

It was an open book exam - but it was not easy. If you knew the answer, you'd feel stupid not looking it up to confirm it. If you didn't know the answer, well then you have to flip through that stupid 700 page book to find it. Not to mention that my indices that my group compiled was about 200 pages in length. I also brought an extra set of someone else's indices in case of emergency. It was a lot of paper cuts and page flipping. Either way, here's my advice to myself for the Solicitor exam (and for anyone reading this in the future in preparation for the Ontario bar exam):

Don't believe those people who said it was easy. The exam was tough. Maybe the pass rates are high, but that doesn't mean the exam was easy. It just means it was easy to pass the bar despite getting many answers wrong. But without any publication of actual pass rates -- the Law Society can just decide to arbitrarily change the pass rate without accountability. Your best bet is to do as well as you can by preparing for the exam. I know many people who boasts of not ever opening the book and passing by just random guessing. Sure. Do it at your own peril.

Don't waste half your studying time doing an index. It's useless making a perfect index if you don't know what the question is asking you -- seems very intuitive right? But no, my group made that mistake. People complained about not being able to find things. I thought I was able to find things okay using our index -- because I actually read my index before going into the exam. I think the problem lies not with the index, but that people weren't familiar with what the subjects in general, precisely because we spent too much time making the index perfect and comprehensive, and not enough time learning how we labelled things.

As I'm typing this, I'm wasting precious time making my index for the Solicitor exam. I want to sleep, but I drank too much coffee this morning after my run. My knee is hurting and I'm praying to the generic deities out there that I will never have to endure these exams again.

Bob Rae and I

2009-06-05T22:24:00.003-04:00

Here's me posing for my parents at convocation today, while Bob Rae gave me his glare of approval. Mr. Rae actually congratulated me while my parents experienced technical difficulties with the camera. That was when I realized he was Bob Rae. Rae was there as a parent today. Congrats, Mr. Rae!

Strawberries in my garden

2009-06-03T17:59:00.006-04:00

The "after" picture of my tree -- after some branches were pruned.

The two strawberries I salvaged today. The left one is starting to rot near the top. It's looking quite deformed.

See the moldy one at the bottom right? there's another hidden, rotten strawberry above it near the centre of the bunch. It rained too much last week.

Veggies in my garden

2009-06-03T00:11:00.004-04:00

Silver Maple. The picture was taken before pruning. The lower right branch along with the two smaller branches above it on the right side have been removed.

From left to right: two rows of beets, two rows of buttercrunch lettuce, two rows of some other types of lettuce.

This picture was taken on Saturday. There's a lot of weeds growing around the lettuce plot.

On Saturday, we got an ISA certified (ISA = Internaitonal Society of Arboriculture) tree specialist to prune our lopsided Silver Maple. The tree sits on the fence line and is enormous -- probably close to 80 years old. It's about 60 ft tall and originally was planted on my neighbour's property. Over the years it grew past the fence line and bursted through our fence into our property.

A few years ago, before my old neighbour sold her property to a developer to make way for a giant mansion, lightning hit the Silver Maple and a major branch fell into her yard. The broken tree branch stayed there for over a year until the developer removed it during redevelopment. The developer hired some half-assed landscaping person to lop off the stumps injured by lightning. The result was a lopsided tree overhanging our yard, swaying and creeking during windstorm.

The pruning took 4 hours. The tree specialist had all his rock climbing equipment and safety ropes. It was nuts. I'm not yet used to the new look of my tree - but i think my strawberries will quite like the extra sun they're getting.

Looking for old friends

2009-05-26T23:20:00.004-04:00

Yup. That's me in the middle, in 1993, in Hong Kong. Let me just say that this was my "awkward" phase.

An old friend of mine on facebook started putting up embarrassing photos of our primary school classmates. It was hilarious and sad at the same time--hilarious because it's so shocking to see how people grow up looking so different, and sad because none of those photos included me. I left Hong Kong in the middle of P. 5 (grade 5) and had only kept in touch with 2 or 3 people over the years. But with facebook, I recently found a handful of old friends. Many of them hesitated before adding me because they don't recognize me anymore.

So there you have it. I am leaving these pictures up online so that my old friends can find me one day. I guess I look quite different now (as do all of us compared to when we were adolescents). Immigrating to the other side of the world during the 90s really meant severing friendships forever.

When I first arrived in Toronto in January of 1995, I was greeted with a huge snow storm. I had never been to Toronto, and we had no relatives living in Canada. We stayed with a family friend and I started school the day after we landed. Long distance phone calls to Hong Kong were very expensive and I only kept in touch with my friends by snail mail. By the time we got internet at home in the late 90s, I had already lost touch with most of my friends in Hong Kong.

So now 14 years later, I am reconnecting with my roots. Before facebook, my memories of the first 10 years of my existence abruptly ended with that plane ride to Canada. There were life before immigration and life after immigration. That's fine until you get to a point in life when you feel like reflecting upon your past, only to find that half of it is forever lost because you were too lazy to stay in touch with old friends. Say what you will about facebook, but it has allowed me to bridge those two distinct periods of my life. Staying in touch superficially through the internet may be better than completely abandoning these friendships by not bothering at all.

Cakes

2009-05-20T00:33:00.005-04:00

I developed a new found appreciation for art when I started taking cake decorating courses. It really is therapeutic. I think I will start doing dummy cakes and start decorating styrofoam instead of real cakes. Leave them around the house like art pieces. Build a plexiglass case for each of them. Have name plaques for them.

This was my Mom's birthday cake. This took like 15 hours to make. People said it was too sweet. Whatev. I am positively sure that I can not do this for a living. First, I can't take orders from people. I am master of my own kitchen - no one tells me what to do with my cake. Second, I always want to cry when I see people dismantling my cake. It always hurt me when I see these cakes, which I've spent hours creating, completely deconstructed within seconds. Finally, I'm afraid one day I will lose self control and shove uneaten pieces of cake down old people's throats. The hell with your diabetes - do not waste my cake!!

In other words, I have temper control problems.

The Ribbon Cake - Wilton course 3. Turns out the wilton food colouring for purple becomes blue after awhile. I'm sick of giving away cakes to unappreciating people. This cake was given to my mom's other party. And half of this cake came back untouched tonight. What the fuck people? Don't you realize this cake have a retail value of like at least $60? My parents said someone else BOUGHT some cheapass sponge cake. People preferred that cake -- said it tasted "delicious".

Fuck that.

I'm getting angry just thinking about this. I really can't be a professional baker.

Illegal cake artists? read this if you are starting a cake business out of your kitchen.

2009-05-11T19:40:00.009-04:00

Alright. BlogTO won't pursue this story. And my one journalist friend is somewhere in India. So I'll just copy and paste the stuff I wrote to BlogTO. I'm going to take out specific references out of fairness to these businesses. After all, I am speculating. The following was my email to the BlogTO editors. I was told that I should just voice my concerns in the comments section.

*********************************************************

I LOVE cakes. And I love that article you guys did on the Best Custom Cakes in Toronto.

I also toyed with the idea of having my own cake business one day – but when I realized the cost of compliance with the applicable laws and regulation, I decided to put things on hold. That is why I am astonished to see some suspicious “cake artists” on your list. Many of these “best custom cakes” businesses in your article do not list their full names or addresses. [references taken out]

There are a whole bunch of these “cake artists” in Toronto beyond the ones your article has mentioned. [references taken out]

Their contact numbers are always mobile numbers not tied to a physical address. I suspect many of these “businesses” are operating illegally out of people’s residential kitchen. Although it is perfectly acceptable to have a business without incorporation, at least in Toronto, a “bake shop” is regulated by the municipal licensing department. For your reference:

The City of Toronto’s Business and Trades Unit issues licences to the following types of businesses and trades:

Stationary businesses

accident report centres
adult entertainment parlours
automobile body repairs
bake shops
barber and hairdressing shops
bill distributors
billiard halls
body rub parlours and attendants
bowling alleys
butcher shops
car wash
carnivals and circuses
coin-operated laundries
convenience and variety stores
drug stores
entertainment establishments/nightclubs
grocery, fruit or fish markets
holistic centres and practitioners
massage parlours
movie theatres and public halls
parking lots
pawnbrokers and old gold dealers
pet shops
places of amusement
public bath houses
public garages and gas stations (including new and used motorized vehicle dealerships)
salvage yards
sign painters
second hand shops

Any premise where food is stored, prepared, or sold for human consumption, on or off the premises, must be licenced:

coffee shops
burger shops
delicatessens
donut shops
fish and chips stores
pizza parlours
restaurants

(Sources: http://www.toronto.ca/licensing/bto_licensing.htm#stationary)

Additionally, the premises where these cakes are prepared may have to meet the appropriate zoning regulation, building code and fire safety regulation. The fact that some of these cake “businesses” neglect to put a permanent address on their contact information makes it difficult to track a failed order, or file a public health complaint if anyone gets food poisoned.

And all of the above information is simply based on my intuition. I have not yet called any bylaw officers to confirm this.

I think BlogTO should be responsible and warn the public about the risks with ordering their custom cakes from these “businesses”. Remember that many custom cakes are made for large parties – often at weddings and birthday parties where hundreds of people are exposed to food safety hazards. Imagine getting food poisoned and only having a cell phone number to track down the perpetrator.

I would love to contribute to an article that educates aspiring pastry artists in complying with the law when starting up their cake businesses. It really isn’t fair when some of these illegal businesses get equal recognition from you when other legitimate cake shops pay thousands of dollars in bylaw compliance.

*********************************************************

Toronto Tamils: Make me proud

2009-05-10T23:26:00.004-04:00

Just came home and realized that I was two blocks away when the Tamil protesters rushed to the Gardiner Expressway. My mom and I were lounging in the HTO beach when sirens started at 7pm.

I'm quite proud that our fellow citizens have the courage to pull off such bold demonstrations. Surely protesters know this is a controversial stint that will earn them some bad publicity. There must be good reasons for them to justify the bad press. Perhaps this really is the only peaceful yet effective way to get people thinking. In reality, every protest will prove to be a nuisance for some people. The essence of a protest is to raise awareness and ignite critical thinking about the issues at stake. At the same time, these protests have been nothing but peaceful and organized, unlike other recent protests around the world. Only in Toronto can we have a highway overtaken by citizens without any violence erupting. I understand that a lot of people are and will be affected by these protests. I hope that every Canadians will cherish and respect our freedom to peaceful assembly as we remember that in some countries, to protest publicly means to be shot by tankers.

School's out. Now for the real Summer of Tiff

2009-05-01T18:58:00.006-04:00

Today's the first day to my real summer off. Well...I do have to study for the Bar exams but it's the closest to having a summer off for me. The last time I had a summer of nothing was back when I was 14? I sold hot dogs for two weeks at the Zoo then never called to schedule another shift again. To be fair, I think I was defrauded--my position was titled "marketing assistant" -- turns out selling hot dogs and ice cream bars constitutes "marketing" for Nestle.

After the first year of law school I thought I was going to have a summer off (reluctantly). I had trouble finding a summer job because my december grades were so horrible (thankfully, they were for practiced exams, but it hurt my job hunting that year nonetheless). But my shortlived summer ended a week into May when I finally got employed. That summer ended up being so busy for me -- I worked three contract jobs simultaneously, one as a research assistant for a prof, one for the government at the Ontario Growth Secretariat, and one as a freelance editor at the International Journal of Constitutional Law based out in New York University.

So today is my first day of being a non student. I guess once I start work I'll be a "student-at-law". But that's not a real student. I can no longer use my student status to my privilege. I will now have to watch what I say as I can be held liable for spewing legal advices irresponsibly to someone's detriment. I really savoured my day off from school and from work. I feel like those cheesey sayings now apply to me. "The world's your oyster." "Go out and do good."

Well, I didn't really do any good today, and I did not encounter any seafood today. Instead, I just strolled around the city, aimlessly, for the first time in years. I wasn't going anywhere in particular, and it felt great. There's none of that residual guilt from knowing that there's something I should be doing.

I ran some errands in the morning, then went to pick up my runner's package from Sporting life in preparation for our 10k run on sunday. Along the way, I had some back ribs and salad for lunch. I walked down Yonge and bought some not-so-great designer cupcakes from the Cupcake Shoppe. I find the buttercream too bland and tasting like vegetable shortening. But they were packed when I was there.

I also got hounded by some lady at her eco-friendly store. She kept pressuring me to buy some stuff for mother's day. I had to tell her that I would not buy my mom anything (which sounded so terrible!) to get out of it. I bought myself something instead: some organic poppy seeds (for gardening! not for baking) and some flower seeds.

Then I made my way down to Shima's office -- which is in this neat part of downtown near the textile district. Dropped off some runner's packages, then made my way to the Law Society to pick up my bar ads study material. I now have an official Law Society ID which means I can bypass security at the courts! Now I can bring in all the metals I want. One step up the totem pole.

At the Law Society, I ran into my classmate who just lost her articling position because her principal died suddenly of a heart attack! She was fired without compensation despite having a contract. Her firm is a specialized boutique firm with an unknown future. Talk about bad luck. I should be glad that at least no one's dying at my firm. We talked about whether she should pursue legal action--but at this point, all her energy is focused on getting a new articling position for the year after. She'd rather defer her call a year, and do something meaningful like a LL.M than to work for free at some small firm doing something she doesn't like. That's when I realize having a legal education doesn't really make us immune to the horrors of every day life. It's pretty unlikely that she'll sue her former employer--seeing that half the firm is now dead, and the other half probably folding up soon.

Then we walked past the Tamil protests. "President Obama, help us!" "what do we want? immediate ceasefire" They were quite peaceful. I felt like there were way more police than protestors -- but it was getting into the early evening.

I then went to Eglinton West to visit the Bonnie Gordon School of CAKES! Bonnie Gordon won a number of international cake decoration contests and was a curator at some art museums before she became a baker. Check out the cake photos by her students--once you've seen those pics, you will want to take her courses, too! It was so cool! I signed up for a baking class in late May and picked up some fancy embossers for cake decorating. I'm tempted to take the cake decorating courses too, but the schedules are conflicting with my bar exams studying. Perhaps after articling, I will do the full intensive course. People who have taken her courses go on to start their own shops and businesses. I'm so stoked. They have a cake show coming up at the Wychwood Barns on May 31st from 12-6:30pm. Can't wait...

I should start my fundraising soon. I need to compile a list of people to contact, and draft a nice email and letter to send out to businesses. My friend Kate and I will be running in the Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon in September, fundraising for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. My pledge page is already up!

I think I'll just take it easy tonight, maybe do some light baking. Summer of Tiff begins.

More procrastination

2009-04-30T00:51:00.001-04:00

why am I here?

2009-04-29T00:20:00.003-04:00

This is the home stretch. As usual I've let procrastination caught up to me. Another late night. Another sleepless night. I know I can do it. But the question is why do I do it? I have no opinions, anymore. I wish headers can fill 50 pages.

Team in Training

2009-04-21T22:08:00.003-04:00

Just a heads up everyone. I'm officially running in this year's Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon as part of Team in Training, fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. I'm very excited. You'll see me trucking along Lake Ontario along with a bunch of people in purple shirts. I hope I'll have the support of all of you -- even if you can't afford to donate now, spread the word and raise some awareness. I'll set up my donation page soon once I finish my papers for school next week.

Running in Suburbia

2009-04-19T00:48:00.007-04:00

My legs are incredibly sore. I've been running 5 times a week now and I think I should take it easier in my training. I actually had to stop today midway thru my run as I started hallucinating about different ways to quench my thirst at Hwy 7 and Bayview. I'm getting all the downsides from running and none of the speed. Why, body, must you treat me this way?

On every run, I always carry these things: health card, credit card, cash, keys. A friend once asked me why I carry my credit card and I had to think about that for a second. I guess I carry my credit card just so I can hallucinate about using my paypass at Loblaws for buying a giant bottle of water to douse myself with.

For my longer run I now run north on Bayview until about 16th avenue then turn back. It's a slight incline all the way north and it works my legs. On my return trip today, the sun was drying the sweat on the back of my neck. It was scalding hot. That was when I realized the benefits of carrying those water bottle belts. I had to stop at starbucks for a bottle of iced tea. Then I had to stupidly run back home with the glass bottle in hand because, as the store clerk said, "unfortunately we do not have recycling yet." That's bull, Starbucks. I ended up dumping my bottle in the blue bin behind Tim Horton's.

Running on Bayview also means a high risk of getting run over by Markham drivers who are unaccustomed to pedestrians. They are trained to methodologically screen out any non-vehicular traffic. Hello!! look before you turn please! Pedestrian crossings are also placed at the most awkward locations. Why would you put the crosswalk right before the stop line for traffic? I should have taken a photo of this at Bayview and just around the 407 ramp. Okay, the cross walk wasn't right before the stopline. It was more like 100 m before the stop line, and 50 m in front of another sets of traffic lights-- two sets of traffic lights in a very short distance. I think one of these sets of traffic lights was added after the 407 ramp was created -- which makes sense for vehicular traffic. Unfortunately for pedestrians, this means that crossing Bayview at that location requires Frogger timing. No wonder no one walks in Markham.

And did you know that Markham boasts of being the "High Tech Capital of Canada"? I thought that's Waterloo and Ottawa...

These are the things you notice when you actually live outside of a car in the suburbs.

Before and After pictures of fob stars

2009-04-14T14:57:00.008-04:00

I think these are hilarious. I'm posting before and after pictures of HK pop stars. None of them admit to surgery. But it's pretty obvious.

Raymond Lam

Chow Man Kay

Joey Yung

Yeung Sau Wei

Angelababy

Kay Tse

Elaine Kong

Trust and relationship

2009-04-11T02:14:00.003-04:00

My favourite subject in law was fiduciary law -- the notion that someone in a fiduciary position owes an enhanced duty to their beneficiary. A fiduciary can exercise broad power unilaterally affecting the interest of their dependent-beneficiary-- like how a real estate agent can affect the sale price of a listing to the benefit or detriment of their client seller. A fiduciary relationship is a trust-like relationship, in which the fiduciary must act in the best interest of their beneficiary in exchange for their broad scope of power. A beneficiary is inherently vulnerable to the fiduciary's action.

So my recent life experiences make me wonder about trust and relationships in general. What makes someone trust another person? Is it blind faith motivated by emotions? Or is it based on a person's past record? How do you determine whether someone is trustworthy when there really is no way to assess trustworthiness in a dating relationship? A real estate agent is regulated by the law and licensing requirements, so you may check an agent's past record before placing your trust in him/her for selling your home. But there's no requirement, no regulatory oversight for someone to qualify for becoming a spouse. How are people supposed to decide?

My sister employes the "tight leash" approach--check my brother in law's finances, have complete access to all his employment and financial records, phone bills, etc. It's probably an ineffective and unnecessary approach-- my brother in law appears to be a loving husband who requires no oversight. They dated for a decade before tying the knot. And so far so good.

If your significant other deliberately tries to hide things from you, he or she probably knows you well enough to provide you with enough indicia of trustworthiness and reliability factors to calm your suspicion. A tight leash approach probably won't uncover a lie. The irony of a breach of trust in a relationship is that it is nonpreventative from the victim's perspective--trust in a relationship was never rational nor reasonable. There really is no way for the victim to have known not to trust--until the breach occurs. The trust simply is what necessitates a relationship--you make yourself vulnerable to another based on this unproven, ungrounded feeling of trust. Isn't that the premise of love? The only way you know if your significant other is trustworthy or not is to wait for a breach of trust. The tight leash approach only works if your significant other isn't going to lie to you in the first place, or if your signficant other doesn't know you well enough to hide things from your conventional oversight methods.

hot stone massage

2009-04-10T02:54:00.002-04:00

My experience with massages have always been terrible. Yet I never learn. Today I tried a hot stone massage and I've got some neck pain. My calves are sore and my foot was burnt from the scalding stone.

My first time, my therapist was too weak. This time, it was way too strong. I need some therapy to undo the damage.

April snow

2009-04-07T14:13:00.002-04:00

How fitting that it's snowing in April. It's cooling me down from all the hating.

I've been trucking along...going to firm social, friend's birthday and go away parties, studying for the first time in months, baking and working out. Some day, I would cry when my mind stands still. I still get take out but now I ask for two sets of cutlery. I don't want people to know I eat alone. I always ate alone, but somehow when you've been betrayed, you become very sensitive about what people know about you.

I live alone, and sometimes I think my body would fully decompose before someone would notice that I'm dead.

But, life's too pretty for it to end. I don't think I can ever kill myself. I still love cakes, still love the feeling of getting chlorine in my nose from bad flipturns, still love the pain in my thighs from bad runs. I just hope that I don't die in my sleep from trying to run at too fast a pace.

And it's the end of another era. The death of a 6 year relationship, the end of law school. Back to the drawing board I guess?

April Fool's?

2009-04-02T00:47:00.005-04:00

Today I got a haunting email from work, asking me to do some updating and editing on a paper I did in the summer. The deadline is in a week, but I'm in exams!! Nonetheless, I freaked out, then said I would do it. The state of the economy reminded me that I should not turn down work now.

Hours later I was informed that the paper doesn't need updating. It'll be published.

Maybe it's a test of my loyalty to the firm? The emails are far too serious in tone to be an elaborate April Fool's joke. Well played, work. My heart skipped a few beats for you today.

As an aside, my cake bible and pie and pastry bible finally came in the mail today!!! The cake bible literally is a bible for baker-- it has every single buttercream recipe you can imagine, together with conversion charts for different cake sizes. I don't think I've felt so excited about a book before. I love cake.

My legs felt super good today at my running group. Maybe my swim yesterday helped kept them warmed up. I kept a 5'40 ish/ k pace for my intervals. I'd like to get my intervals down to 5' soon but I guess you can't rush the training. Not many people showed up since they were recovering from the Around the Bay 30 k run on Sunday. Many of my running mates actually had strong places within their age category -- one came in 4th in her age group and 19th overall! holy crap! She also does the ironman competition and triathlon.

Today's also the last swimming lesson -- I tried to learn the flip turns today. I think I lack the endurance to do a proper flip turn at the end of one length. Turns out my instructor is a law school hopeful. I hope it works out well for him.

Plan my life, please.

2009-03-29T16:44:00.003-04:00

Lately, I've been not following with my plans. Didn't run today. Didn't study last week. Will I graduate?

Even cakes won't do the trick now.

Tribute to 90s Cantopop

2009-03-24T00:20:00.003-04:00

This is the real shit. Great running music.

Grasshopper - a boy/man group who's been singing for at least 20 years. One of them also goes by the name of DJ Remus. I'd say they are the first generation dance group in HK.

Okay this song is AWESOME. The dance moves alone are entertaining.

Here's Shirley Kwan, doing a remake of a french ballad called Tout L'Temps.

Here's Priscilla Chen featuring a very young Aaron Kwok!!!

Narooz 2009

2009-03-23T00:23:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it's already been a year! Today I went to Shima and Ram's Persian celebration. It's becoming my new favourite tradition. I think I've gone to this for the past 3 years.

I still remember last year's Narooz. We went to a Persian place on Yonge near Wellesley (named Tempest? Tempo? Temple?) for dinner, and then we went over to the apartment for sweets. I carried my dirty backpack, claiming that I would only stay for sweets. I ended up staying till midnight. I remember Ram broke something Shima really liked. A fight ensued. Then we awkwardly left. Haha.

On my way home, I took the subway with Shima's highschool friend Brenda, who told me I could run a half-marathon. She and I both parked our cars in the Finch parking lot. It was really cold -- a lot colder than today. That week I signed up for a half-marathon for the following October. I ran most of the race that October.

Let's see what I will write about Narooz next year. Hopefully, I'll be able to make Narooz 2010 and not be stuck at work.

heartburn

2009-03-21T02:27:00.002-04:00

Love is a funny thing. It comes and goes unexpectedly. Love is unconditional trust, without which, there can be no love.

Today, I lost my love because of a lie. I lost a best friend that I never had.

I thought no one would understand me the way you do. But turns out you never understood me.

I thought I was the only person in this world who knows you best. But turns out I never knew you at all.

Yesterday, I shared all my sorrows with you because I thought you cared. Today, I share it with everyone and no one because you took away my imaginery best friend.

I hurt, not because I still love, but because I lament the death of my dream.

Let this mark a new day for new dreams and hope.

A runner's blue: iron deficiency anemia

2009-03-17T01:21:00.004-04:00

Take it from me: it can happen to you, too.

At my annual check up, my doctor noticed that I'm anemic. Further blood work shows that I have iron deficiency anemia and iron depletion. My ferritin level (iron storage level) is at 6 (10 is the minimum and 45 would be the ideal level). I'm now taking iron and vitamin supplments. It was a pretty dramatic drop from my normal results one year ago. Coincidentally, I started running regularly about a year ago.

Turns out iron deficiency is very common among distance runners. This is when I actually felt kind of proud (only for a fleeting, ignorant moment...but long enough to decide to blog about it...iron deficiency is about the only thing I can have in common with Olympic marathoners. The condition also allows me to blame my lack of speed on something other than my legs. But I digress.) Anemia is no laughing matter and can have long term impact on your health, such as organ failures. Most importantly, iron deficiency anemia can affect your vitality.

Endurance athletes like runners often develop iron deficiency because their training leads to building of muscle mass (which requires iron) and the feet pounding against hard surface ruptures red blood cells. Iron is essential for creation of red blood cells and hemoglobins, which carries oxygen throughout your body. Running performance suffers if your body is not able to get enough oxygen to its muscles. The general symptom for iron deficiency was "fatigue". Here's a recent article in Canadian Running about Olympian Sylvia Ruegger and her iron depletion.

Vitality meant nothing to me until I had to walk home during my 10k training run a few weeks ago. I was dragging my feet and tripping over snowbanks 4k into the run. I thought it was unusual but sort of wrote it off. Now that I think about it, for several weeks now, I've been experiencing some running problems. I've been running every week with a group at school for interval training for 2 months now. And since the first week of training, my speed has been consistently slower by the week. I was literally trailing the group by a few minutes. I thought I was just hitting the training plateau, but I think my anemia and poor diet were finally catching up to me.

So the prescription? keep on running, the doctor says. But change your diet: eat more liver, red meat, fibre and vitamins. For now, I have to take iron supplements to quickly restore my iron storage.

If you're a female athlete, you are especially vulnerable because women lose more iron than men do due to menstruation. Iron depletion levels and iron deficiency anemia can go undetected for years until you one day, like me, decide to exercise regularly. Iron depletion is not normally tested during regular blood work. My hemoglobin concentration (test for anemia) was always on the low end within the normal range and as a result, I was never tested for my ferritin level (for iron storage levels). My running finally tipped it below the range, and the mystery reveals itself.

If you don't want to eat metal pills for a few months every day, talk to your doctors before it happens to you, ladies!

Tribute to 80's cantopop

2009-03-12T14:15:00.003-04:00

The good ones tend to die young. Danny Chan, Leslie Cheung, Anita Mui, Beyond's lead singer Wong Ka Kui. I still have many of these on cassette tapes.

Danny Chan.

Here's my all-time favourite Danny Chan's song -- "Wait"

Oh. My. Here's Andy Hui accompanying Anita Mui in the first song I learned to dance to. I think the three dancers are the legendary Grasshopper!

Anita Chan with Danny Chan live in concert

Leslie Cheung with Anita Mui - this song was in a movie soundtrack. I can't remember which one but I remember crying a lot watching this.

Leslie Cheung in concert

More Leslie.

Beyond.

Macarons in Toronto: Moroco Chocolat

2009-03-11T01:05:00.006-04:00

I confess that I'm a pastry snob. And macarons are the perfect pastry for those with a sophisticated sweet tooth. Fit for a queen, a macaron is rumoured to be among Marie Antoinette's favourites. Macaron is simply jam or cream filling sandwiched in between two layers of slow-baked nut meringue cookies. But making a perfect macaron is simple to learn but hard to master, as any slight deviation in oven temperature or in the ratio of egg white and nut can mean disaster-- which is why it is the perfect litmus test for a pastry chef's culinary skills. Unfortunately, a good macaron is hard to come by especially in the pastry-deprived North America. And please do not confuse these sacred cookies with their inferior coconut-based cousins, the macaroons.

Alas, I found the perfect macaron at Moroco Chocolat, a chocolate salon and French restaurant located in Yorkville. If you love sweets (or you love someone who does), this place is where your soul will die and ascend to heaven.

Forget everything you know about hot chocolate. Their sipping chocolate is to die for-- a dainty pot of molten valrhona chocolate (think the Gucci of all chocolates, or if I may, Godiva chocolate but a gazillion times more superior) served in an espresso-sized cup. A pot for two is served with champagne glasses filled with whipped cream and two pieces of their chocolate truffles. Even if you have no time to sit in their lounge-like dining hall, you can get them to go.

The price is very reasonable (if you can afford a Starbucks battery acid flavoured coffee, you can afford this) despite the classy decor and locale. You will be impressed with their retail store, where rows of colourful macarons sit like jewelry in an elevated clear glass display.

Life near the end of school

2009-03-04T13:16:00.002-05:00

Something about graduation makes me think like a terminal cancer patient. I need to live life to its fullest before death (read: work) consumes me in August. Nothing's really changed. Things are just as bleak about the economy and my family and close friends are almost all laid off. But I feel good: I only have 5 months until my life as a student is over. So I'm doing everything I want to do before August. I've been taking swimming lessons and running with a group every week. I started my cake decorating classes. I read 4 books for fun since January. And I've made over 100 cupcakes in the last month. Life is good.

Ip Man

2009-03-01T19:40:00.003-05:00

One of the better action movies in a long time, the movie was loosely based on Kung Fu Master Ip Man whose students include Bruce Lee. Donnie Yen plays Ip Man. You can watch the whole movie on youtube here.

Cupcake Bakeoff?

2009-02-25T03:37:00.003-05:00

Thanks to twitter, I learned about this neat group called CupCakeCamp. Unfortunately, I have missed their Toronto cupcake camp in January. But it seems like their next cupcake camp is to be held in Ottawa on March 29. I'm probably not going to make it seeing that I've got my exam in the following week. But for those of you who are interested, you can register to be a baker at the camp's competition or simply sign up as a taster!

Baking competitions have always been my sore point. I once lost bitterly at the UW Place Bakeoff to someone who made the exact same thing as me -- marbled cheese cake. Because my entry was not in one of the designated categories, I was put in the "Others" category with all these master bakers, one of them happened to have made the better version of my entry. I will never forget that night when I went home with nothing, while someone who submitted a banana won 1st place for being the sole entry in the "creative" category. How is a banana a product of human creativity? Ever since then, baking competitions are one of the "to-do" things in my life.

Gardasil and Vaccination

2009-02-18T18:04:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I got into a lively debate on Gardasil on funkaoshi and felt wrong continuing my thoughts there when the original topic wasn't even about Gardasil. Then, today at my routine physical check up, I was twice asked whether I would be interested in Gardasil. I wasn't and instead got my tetanus shot booster. I am also being tested for a whole bunch of things to see if I was properly immunized. Measles, mumps, rubella, and a bunch of things I can't remember. I know I've got some vaccines because I've got nasty immunization scars to prove it. But when the nurse asked for the specific dates of when I was vaccinated, I was dumbfounded.

The truth is, I know very little about vaccines and immunization. So my negative reaction about Gardasil is uncharacteristic of me. Growing up in Asia meant that I got a whole bunch of vaccines at an early age. In fact, my immunization history almost got me kicked out of Canada during the immigration process when I tested positive for turberculosis. Being sure that our family was immunized for TB, my parents went through a lot of trouble to produce medical proof and special blood test to prove that my TB positive test result was triggered by my vaccine's antibodies, rather than the real TB virus.

So why do I feel uneasy about Gardasil? Perhaps it's because I am actually slightly more educated about Gardasil than I am about other vaccines. I don't doubt that Gardasil works in preventing some types of HPV which causes cervical cancer. I agree that women should have access to it. What I do oppose is the aggressive advertisement that Gardasil's manufacturer partakes in. Being a woman who regularly goes for prescription renewal also means that I am disproportionately more exposed to Gardasil's influence in my routine environment. Today, I counted 4 different Gardasil posters in my doctor's examination room, one poster in the waiting room and received a pamphlet that was given specifically to me by the nurse when I declined taking Gardasil today. Perhaps this overexposure to Gardasil is prompting my heightened reaction.

Today, I felt that it was certainly easier to accept taking Gardasil than declining it. Afterall, I was within the recommended age group for the vaccine. I was repeatedly asked to consider it and they had the vaccine in storage. Turning it down made me feel like I made a medically unreasonable decision, as if I was saying "yes" to cervical cancer, gential warts and HPV infections. But when my doctor found out that my insurance doesn't cover Gardasil, she said, "oh, then nevermind." The complete Gardasil vaccine requires three doses administered in 6 months, each dose costing $150. The doctor explained that she would "only really push for Gardasil" if I plan on being "very sexually active with numerous partners." In other words, lifestyle choices dictate whether I would be an ideal candidate for Gardasil. My experience today raises so many issues besides whether Gardasil merits public funding for mass vaccination. But I will focus on just that latter issue.

Gardasil is clearly marketed as a prophylactic vaccine against cervical cancer. But its medical contribution seems more accurately described as predominantly the prevention of HPV infection, with the incidental benefit of preventing cervical cancer development. Moreoever, according to my questionable sources (read: Wikipedia), cervical cancer is the fifth leading cause of death for women around the world, and the leading cancer-related cause of death for women in the developing world. That sounds scary, until you ask the following questions: how many women in the developed world, more specifically in Canada, die from cervical cancer? (Apparently, 420 women will die from cervical cancer this year). Marketing Gardasil as a cancer vaccine is probably the better business decision than marketing it as what it really is -- a STD vaccine. Afterall, a vaccine raising morality concerns is not going to sell.

So when the federal government announced spending $300M on public vaccination of adolescent girls with Gardasil, I wonder if there was sufficient public debate on Gardasil's merit for funding priority. Isn't there anything in the health care system that has more imminent needs for funding than Gardasil? Maybe there isn't. And is it telling that most health insurance policies refuse to fund HPV vaccines (but it does for birth control drugs at least partially)? perhaps these underwriters realize the overstated medical significance of HPV vaccines.

It's unfortunate the debate around Gardasil was focused on the morality / promiscuity issue, because in my opinion the marketing technique and medical singificance of the vaccine were largely overlooked by mainstream debates. Moreover, the government's swift decision to fund the vaccine made any discussion irrelevant. While I, like most citizens, would defer to public health officials in their policy decisions, I wonder if the public would benefit from a more inclusive discussion before any decision is made. Afterall, we live in an age of information and government accountability. Deference to expertise is no longer persuasive in shaping public opinions.

All I can hope is that the cost of administering HPV vaccines will decrease soon when a second HPV vaccine is approved in Canada.

Bizarre things that happened to me

2009-02-10T23:58:00.003-05:00

Here's a list for the last few weeks:

reading a criminal case about the person who assaulted my high school geography teacher.
having the fourth flat tire in the last 12 month period.
meeting Jack Layton twice in two weeks.
getting a red pocket from Jack Layton.
missing the recycling truck twice in a month.
some more that I will discuss later on...

Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-02-02T01:25:00.004-05:00

This was my New Year set up at home. I don't think I'm doing this correctly. But who cares? I once read that many ancient traditions are preserved by overseas Chinese, even as people in China abandon superstitous traditions. Take our Chinatown for example--Spadina and Dundas looks like a scene from an old movie from 1960s Hong Kong. Even the dirtiest market in China is cleaner than our Chinatown.

So why do we overseas Chinese hang onto meaningless traditions that no longer have relevance in our hometowns? Maybe it helps ease homesickness. Something about deepfrying kok jai and steaming nian gao comforts me. These acts remind me that I have a family and roots on the other side of the globe.

What I talk about when I talk about running

2009-01-17T13:46:00.004-05:00

I'm currently reading Haruki Murakami's memoir on running entitled "What I talk about when I talk about running". Murakami is an award-winning Japanese novelist who has run the 100 km ultramarathon in Hokkaido in 1996. The book is a reflection of the relationship he has with running, and how it affects his career as a novelist. Murakami, like many of us, started running because he was getting fat.

It's strange how long-distance runners are able to relate to one another despite their skill levels. It is true as Murakami says in his book, that most long-distance runners (other than the professional athletes) are not competitve. Your average garden-variety long-distance runners are not interested in how they perform in relations to other people in the race. Most of us only care about achieving a personal best. And because of that, long distance running attracts me, someone who naturally sucks at most sports and doesn't care much for winning (or losing).

The modern marathon race is standardized at 26.2 miles (or 42 km or so). The name "marathon" was derived from the legend of Pheidippides, the Greek messenger sent from the Town of Marathon to Athens to announce the defeat of the Persians in the Battle of Marathon. Murakami ran the route between Marathon to Athens and found that it was actually about a mile short of the official marathon distance.

So is it safe to say that Persians have a knack for getting people up and running? My own first experience with running in public can be attributed to my token Persian friend Shima, who headed up our team every year at the CIBC run for the cure.

History has it that Pheidippides died on the spot after running the marathon. Let's hope I can survive my first marathon sometime this year.

Do you suffer from L.E.S.?

2009-01-15T15:57:00.003-05:00

Do you have LES or long email syndrome? I suffer from a different kind of LES...

Memories of Hong Kong: Landing in Kai Tak Airport

2009-01-14T16:02:00.004-05:00

Those who had the fortune to visit Hong Kong before the mid 1990s would remember holding the breaths when the plane was landing at Hong Kong's old airport. I still remember looking down from my plane at people hang drying their clothes.

默言回首

2009-01-12T15:11:00.002-05:00

今日突然很感慨。今年便廿五歲了。從前覺得廿五是人生一個轉捩點。覺得廿五歲的人是應該很成熟，事業理應開始有基礎。但回首一望，就發覺過去自己一事無成。廿五歲還未畢業，銀行戶口連小小的積蓄也沒有。想到當年父母在自己這個年紀已養起整頭家，已達到談婚論嫁的地步，而自己就還像一個小孩的時候，便覺得很慚愧和無奈。莫說是養家，以我現在的能力連我自己也養不起。

年初和小學同學敘舊，知到她們父親的離去為家庭帶來法律糾紛，才發覺她們很成熟。而我自己雖然是位法律生，但對這些事卻一頭霧水。原來到頭來讀這麼多書的我也只是一個什麼都不懂，沒有什麼貢獻的人。究竟我有沒有選錯路呢？

今天心血來潮想用中文打字，卻打了很久也打不完。此時才想起自己根本沒有懂看中文的網友，多諷刺。

---

For the non-Chinese readers, here's a terrible online translation courtesy of Google Translate.

It is a pity today suddenly.廿五years old this year.廿五think the former is a turning point in life. Feel that people are廿五-year-old should be very mature, and the cause should have a foundation to start. But I looked back on the past found themselves accomplish nothing.廿五-year-old has not yet graduated from even a small savings bank accounts have not. When parents think of their own at this age has been raised since the whole family, has reached the point where谈婚论嫁, but they are also like a child, will feel ashamed and helpless. Not to mention is the support the family, in my ability to even now I have养不起.

The beginning of the year and primary school students to talk about the old days, know that their father left the family any legal dispute, it was found out that they are mature. Although I myself was a law of Health, but these things are at a loss. The original end of the day to read so many books I do not know anything is just a no contribution. What I have chosen the wrong path?

Impulse today would like to use Chinese typing, but also打不完playing for a long time. At this point he did not come to read the Chinese users to understand more ironic.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

2009-01-10T14:43:00.004-05:00

Memories of Macau: Jerkies

I am pretty sure I have SAD. I read somewhere that light treatment is effective for 50% of the people with SAD. An inexpensive home remedy for SAD is to shine your fluorescent desk light at your eyes for at least 30 minutes. Something in the optic nerves get stimulated which are connected to some parts of your brain that handles emotions.

Maybe I'm just feeling under the weather because of what's happening this week. Since getting home from Hong Kong earlier this week, I've been fighting off a nasty cough. Then yesterday, I got really dizzy after giving blood. It's happened a few times now and there was a scare at the clinic. The nurses placed me on the stretcher and I utterly scared off at least one first time blood donor. In the end, everything was fine. It may be that I didn't eat enough the day before and simply got up too quickly. I'm going to stuff my face today with high caloric meal (read: Harveys) and skip the running today.

The only way to fight SAD i guess is to look ahead with your chin up. I'm setting a lot of new year resolutions this year. One, I am going to pass the bar this year. Two, I am going to run (or half-walk) a marathon. Three, I am going to take up swimming again so that I don't feel like drowning after one length of front crawl.

Updates on law student with fake degree: Inflated law school grades, too

2008-12-17T10:49:00.003-05:00

So, Toronto Star won't let go of Quami Frederick. It has revealed that Ms. Frederick had also faked her law school grades in order to secure her articling position.

And to be fair to Osgoode, they never had a chance to examine the bogus transcripts because they were centrally processed by Ontario Law School Applications Services (OLSAS), a branch of Ontario University Application Centre.

I want my money back, OLSAS.

Art school?

2008-12-15T11:54:00.002-05:00

I'm seriously thinking about doing a part time degree at OCAD. Turns out OCAD has changed a lot since I last thought about applying there. I would need to update my portfolio. I'm not really interested whether or not I get another degree but it seems like you can't take courses without being registered in a bachelor program now. Smart move, OCAD.

There's a summer intensive program that runs for 6 weeks which would start right after I finish my bar exam and before I start work. The only down side is that I have to take a bunch of English courses and Sociology courses. And I have to get in.

When flunking out of school may be honourable

2008-12-13T15:40:00.007-05:00

Ms. Quami Frederick, a third year law student at Osgoode Hall Law School, was exposed today by the Toronto Star for purchasing a fake undergraduate degree in order to get her into law school. Ms. Frederick was originally scheduled to graduate in 2009 and had already been hired by Wildeboer Dellelce LLP as an articling student for 2009-2010 when this story went to press.

"Last week, an undercover Star investigation exposed Peng Sun, a York University grad who forges university degrees from real Canadian universities for $4,000. Sun's client list was not available, but the Star obtained a list of Canadians who bought fake degrees from an American diploma mill busted three years ago by the U.S. Secret Service and Homeland Security."

Ms. Frederick is one of them.

I've known about these phoney degrees which are quite popular among VISA students from oversea who have flunked out of university but are too embarassed to fess up to their parents. They'd rather spend a few thousands dollars on phoney diplomas than to tell their parents in China that the $15K a year tuition went down the drain because they partied too much. The Chinese media had caught on a few years back and did a similar bust-up.

Scam artists like Peng Sun ain't cool. But the Toronto Star took the story further by getting to the people who took their business to scammers like Peng Sun.

To think that a fellow law student, in her third year, was one of these people shocks me. Part of me wonders now if this is just the tip of the iceberg. How many more law students/ lawyers got to where they are with $1000 and a phoney dean's list? I worked my ass off to get to the same place where Ms. Frederick was at until today. She almost bagged a 70k a year articling position with $1000 investment.

What do people like Ms. Frederick say about law school admission standards? Should we even bother requiring people to have a first degree when someone without an undergraduate degree was able to last 2.5 years of law school? People like Ms. Frederick displaced otherwise legitimate candidates from admissions into the profession, simply because their real grades were no match to Ms. Frederick's purchased ones. The irony of all this is that doing well in undergraduate education has no bearing on performance in law school. Ms. Frederick is an example.

The real issue of course is about morality and ethics. But the subtext of the story is the impact of professional schools' obsession with admission standards. Grades are used at least in some schools' admission offices to "weed out" undesirable applicants. At the same time, there are special categories for applicants with disabilities and other circumstances that may warrant a different admission approach. But spots given out under these categories are limited by predetermined "quotas" and the timing of these offers usually is different from ones given out during the "normal" admission cycle. In other words, applying to professional schools is a science in and of itself and there are systemic disadvantages towards applicants with unorthodox qualifications.

My opinion is that a more holistic approach to admission standards would alleviate applicants' anxiety and perhaps reduce the desire to turn to fraud. A holistic approach would place less emphasis on academic records and more focus on life expereinces. The approach would alleviate the stress placed on applicants with substandard grades who are otherwise capable of performing well in professional schools. Of course, some may be reluctant to change the system because of behaviours of a few dishonest people. Clearly, honesty and integrity cannot be policed and detected from applications to professional schools. But if the professional schools do not heed the opportunity to examine their own role in the bigger scheme of the profession, they will be exposing (and they have exposed) our profession to opportunistic individuals like Ms. Frederick. But for the Toronto Star expose, Ms. Frederick would likely be licensed as a lawyer in 2010. Her story only highlights the vulnerability of the professional schools and leads to more reasons to doubt the integrity of the profession as a whole. Her example marginalizes the public faith in our self-regulating professions.

Exams update

2008-12-12T16:26:00.001-05:00

24 hours take-home exams are horrible. I just finished one. Right around 2 am I had a panicked attack. They were supposed to be easy. Argh.

I have another 24 hour take home next week.

I need to eat something. I have had too much Ramen the last week.

Random musing

2008-12-02T14:47:00.004-05:00

Maybe I shouldn't have gone to law school. Seems like planners are the only ones who haven't been laid off yet.

Will my firm still be here when I graduate next spring? Will there be a merger? Will there be layoffs? There's a subtle sense of panic among my peers. What happens after our contracts end in 2010? will the economy have picked up enough to absorb the several thousands of new lawyers? Can people afford lawyers?

It can't be all that bad. At least I don't have a mortgage. Interests on my OSAP will accrue at all-time-low rate.

UW in Dubai: human rights concerns?

2008-11-25T18:46:00.003-05:00

Fill me in! What's going on? I quickly did a google search on the topic and found out that UW is thinking of creating a satellite campus in Dubai but is now faced with concerns regarding human rights situation in UAE.

GLOW thinks it's a bad idea to open a satellite campus in a country where people can be imprisoned because of their sexual orientation. And my preliminary google search reveals that administration may not be overly concerned about the human rights issues. In the response to senate dated November 18, UW reassures that while the school itself will provide a safe environment for its staff, it expects all faculty and employees to abide by the law of UAE.

"UW will not discriminate against faculty, staff or students based on any of the grounds identified under our policies and the faculty and staff MoAs, but all members of the UAE campus community will be expected to respect UAE laws. UW will not discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender/transsexual faculty, staff or students on the UAE campus, but wishes to ensure their understanding that UAE law prohibits consensual homosexual acts. Individuals holding Israeli passports may be denied entry visas by the UAE because of the Gulf Council’s current political position on Palestine."

I think it would be a shame if UW pulls out because of human rights. It would be equally a shame if UW quietly affirms and compromises its position on human rights simply because of economics. This would have been a great opportunity for UW to play a major role in bringing human rights issues to the fore in the middle east.

For those of you on UW campus, there is a special session hosted by Leo Rothenburg, acting dean of engineering, at

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

4:30pm

Needles Hall Room 3001

Recycled Plastic Bags by Engage Green

2008-11-23T01:51:00.006-05:00

Last week, I found my dream bag at The Papery on Cumberland street: the Engage Green messenger bag made from 100% recycled plastic (PETE: polyethylenterethphalate, usually used to make bottled water).

Engage Green is based in New York and run by designer Leonor Mendoza who also has artwork made from recycled material installed at a Washington art museum. There were also some tote bags made from recycled paper available at the Papery. But I wish they would stock more of the other product lines made from recycled woven paper, PETE, organic cotton, hemp and cork.

I already have my eyes on this Beige Satchel recycled paper bag (handles made from recycled vinyl) here:

Waste news: Foam Packaging Accepted starting December 8!!!

2008-11-18T12:30:00.003-05:00

Royson James explains what you can and cannot put in your blue bin.
Where's the source of your info, Royson? Can't seem to find it on the city's website.

If this news is true, I will be doing my happy recycling dance come this December 8th. Anyone who's been to my house will know that I have two garbage bags full of styrofoam that I save for environment day. Wait no more!!
And the recycling "czar" Geoff Rathbone is a graduate of the Waterloo's Environmental Resource Studies program.

Lessons from The Second City

2008-11-16T13:44:00.007-05:00

If Chicago's transit system is "decrepit", how do you describe its sister city's TTC?
"One reasonable bet is that Mr Obama will pay attention to urban issues. He will, unusually, be a big-city president, and has a raft of proposals to help metropolitan areas. “He has a real understanding of the urban problems confronting America,” Mr Daley argues. What is good for Chicago will be good for other cities too."

What is good for Chicago may be good for other cities in Canada, too.

How to complain about a business: Better Business Bureau

2008-11-14T14:26:00.003-05:00

So you may recall my unpleasant experience at Galati Market Fresh about a month ago. After the incident I felt compelled to do something about their business practice. Since it was a relatively minor incident, I just filed a complaint through the Better Business Bureau. The BBB is a non-profit organization that provides an online complaint system. The system processes and forwards the complaint to the business in question. Member business has to meet certain standards set out by the bureau.

Galati isn't a member business but the complaint was nonetheless forwarded to its corporate office. Within a couple of weeks, I got a response that "manager Eddie" was in fact the assistant manager and that warnings will be given to him regarding this incident. A $25 certificate was attached.

Although I've closed the file at BBB and accepted the apology, I don't think I'll be shopping there again. My dignity was worth more than $25 credit. In any case, I think the BBB is a pretty good way for consumers to speak up for themselves.

UGH.

2008-11-12T14:13:00.004-05:00

My furnace broke down. It's about 5 degrees in my home now.

It's pretty insignificant except I have just finished cleaning my carpet from the police foot prints when they had to secure my home from the break and enter that occured a couple of weeks ago.

What is next? Mark my word, I sense more misery ahead. This is just not my month. I'm losing it.

Cool Planners

2008-11-09T19:51:00.005-05:00

Anyone noticed that Valerie Jarrett, Barack Obama's senior advisor, was once the Commissioner of Planning and Department in Chicago and was once the Chair of the Chicago Transit Board? Ok, so she was never trained as a planner, but I'm sure her years there make her at least an honorary member of the profession. (She's actually trained as a lawyer). In fact, Ms. Jarrett hired Michelle Obama to work as her assistant at the Chicago City Hall.

What is wrong with the legal profession?

2008-11-08T14:43:00.005-05:00

Articles like this highlights the growing problem of access to justice. How can we have a fair trial when people facing felony charges are denied adequate legal representation?

In Ontario, we do not run on a public defender system and relies instead on legal aid to provide government funding for those who cannot otherwise afford a lawyer. If you qualify for legal aid, the government issues a certificate which you can give to a lawyer who can then use that as a retainer. The lawyer receives payment directly from the government. Remuneration for legal aid is much lower than the billing rates for normal private practitioners and much lower than salary for crown prosecutors.

Legal aid remuneration rates as of October 2007 (Legal Aid Ontario, Tariff and Billing Handbook, p. 2-2)

To put things in perspective, my understanding is that the billing rate for a freshly called lawyer starts at a minimum of $200 an hour in Toronto (it varies of course depending on the size of the practice and the nature of the practice; certain areas of law may be more lucrative). The rising disparity between legal aid remuneration and the salary of the rest of the legal profession creates an unfair disadvantage to public defenders.

Once upon a time, there was no division between the civil and criminal bar in Toronto. Most big business and commercial law firms in Toronto were once full-serviced firms producing some of the top criminal lawyers in history. Over the years, these firms discovered that complex corporate transactions and lengthy civil trials are more profitable than criminal defence.

Overhead costs running a law firm are high: consider rent for downtown office space, staff, decor, marketing, client development, etc. The costs of conducting modern legal research are outrageous. Gone are the days when lawyers read in libraries. Most legal research are done online given the pressure to produce results quickly. In quicklaw or westlaw (these are legal search engines for electronic versions of cases and periodicals; something like a hybrid of google and library catalogue), a keyword search can costs ranging from $3 to $35 dollars.

The costs of legal services grows at a rate corresponding to corporate client expectations. Somehow, law schools decided to match the rate of tuition increase to the costs of legal services in order to retain professors who would otherwise flock to Bay Street (or Wall Street). In return, business law firms recruit students early in their law school career and pay them a ridiculous amount of money in order to develop future employees. The criminal law firms have to raise their salary rates to try to match corporate law firms so to retain talents and also to attract recent graduates with sizable student debts.

In the end, the increased costs are passed off to the consumers. Ordinary citizens can no longer afford legal services without taking out their savings. Those without savings are left to their own demise, or to the lawyers who are willing to internalize the economic disadvantage of providing legal aid services.

Proposition 8 in California: Banning Gay Marraige

2008-11-04T14:27:00.005-05:00

We shall see what happens tonight as the Californian citizens vote on proposition 8. If passed, it would amend the state constitution to eliminate same-sex couple's right to marraige in California.

That would be a shame as I thought California was always a pretty rational state. That's right - I said it. You have to be irrational to vote for a ban on same-sex marriage. I never understand the popular argument against same-sex marriage: how does banning someone's right to something protect your right to that very same thing? Are these people referring to the kind of traditional marriage arrangement in feudal times, when people are forced to marry to forge economic ties, and when people need to reproduce kids to work the land more efficiently? How does same sex marriage undermine traditional marriage? How does someone else's marriage undermine yours?

I had thought that we are way past defining marrying for commerce. Marriage is a union of love. Gender plays no role in defining marriage. Love does.

More popularly, opponents to same-sex marriage argue that they do not oppose gay rights. They believe the same legal rights in a domestic partnership apply to homosexual couple. But how is denying a gay person's right to have a legally recognized marriage not a deprivation of a right? There are important legal consequences and distinctions between a domestic partnership and a legal marriage. At the very least, a domestic partnership requires more legal manoeuvering to offer the same legal protection a marriage automatically offers. More importantly, the right to be married is an end in itself and should not be regarded as merely a mean to achieve an end. The denial of same-sex couple's right to marriage IS a deprivation of a right in itself.

And how can someone believe in equality rights and support denying rights to a sector of the society? Isn't this line of arguments premised on the "separate but equal" logic? Like in Animal Farm, everyone's equal, but some are more equal than others?

Opponents to same-sex marriage cite fears of the disintegration of traditional marriage. But I fail to see the validity of the argument. Are these opponents suggesting that heterosexual couples will convert to homosexuality and marry the same-sex if given the chance? Or are they fearing that closet homosexuals who otherwise choose to hide their sexual orientation by entering into traditional marriages would be liberated to marry the same sex if given the chance? either way, if that's the argument, then opponents of same-sex marriage should also consider banning anything remotely influencing marriage rates. Perhaps divorce should be illegal. Higher education and high stress work life also delay marriage and should be banned. Careers in law, finance, medicine (and insert other professions equally time consuming and stressful) should all be outlawed for disintegrating traditional marriage.

Some extremists like to characterize same-sex marriage as improper like certain taboo relationships (in one heated argument, my opponent cites incest as the next thing we would legalize if we allow same-sex marriage). This characterization disregards the concerns of abuse in a power-dependent, fiduciary relationships. Any relationship that involves manipulation, abuse of trust, unilateral discretion and control over a vulnerable party should be characterized as taboo. Abusive relationships are always taboo and are not defined by gender. I fail to see the validity of these arguments.

I disagree with the populist view of rights. Our rights do not flow from majoritarian will. Equality rights are inherent in our human dignity - we as humans are all equal and are entitled to rights not to be deprived of the popular consensus of the day.

But I'm not a Californian. Who am I to say?

What will I do after the election?

2008-11-03T12:45:00.003-05:00

Maybe I can actually focus on school work. Until then, more CNN, politico, NYtimes, etc...

here's a gem from the Daily Show

Half Marathon - October 19, 2008

2008-10-20T16:44:00.012-04:00

I completed my first half-marathon yesterday in 2 hours 26 minutes and 13 seconds. I placed 3801 out of 4653 people. I was hoping for a better stat but I'm happy to finish under 2.5 hours. Considering how I've become physically inactive during law school, the half-marathon is quite a big accomplishment for me.

On the actual run day, I arrived at the site around 7am at Mel Lastman Square. We started at 8 am on Beecroft Avenue, then went south on Yonge towards Rosedale. We then turned on Aylmer, which became Rosedale Valley Drive, then went south on Bayview. We exited near the West Don Land, then went west on Front St. through St. Lawrence Market. The final stretch went north on University Avenue and ended around the Queens Park Circle.

It was a very scenic route and mostly downhill. The only uphill was on Yonge after York Mills towards Lawrence. I managed to run the whole way until around 18K when my nike plus sensor told me that I had already finished the 21 k race. Turns out I had miscalibrated my sensor and that the whole time, my sensor thought I was running a farther distance than in reality. I stopped a few times, walked a minute and then picked up again. The last stretch was the worst.

I have always hated running. In elementary school I was coerced into doing cross country running with my friends but I would always finish last in our group. I think I only signed up because I didn't want to hang out on my own during lunch time since that was when we trained. I remembered always getting cramps after running 2.4 km everyday for a few weeks leading up to our cross country meet. In hindsight, it was a terrible idea to run right after eating a big lunch.

In highschool, I decided to join cross country team because that was the only sports team that didn't require a try-out. (I also ended up in field hockey because they were desperately needing players). I needed something on my university application. I ran faster in highschool, but I still hated it.

In undergrad, I did almost no running at all. The only runs I did were the CIBC 5K runs organized by Shima.

Then, in March of this year, I went to Shima and Ram's Persian New Year get together. I was taking the subway with Shima's friend Brenda and that's when she talked about her passion with karate and running. I think she tried to convince me to take up karate, but instead I became more interested in the half marathon. So the following week, I signed up for the Toronto Half Marathon.

It was pretty nuts - I had never run more than 5K. The idea of running 21 K scared me especially because I remembered reading an article on a dead runner from previous year's marathon, which was 42k. But signing up for it was such an important thing for me: it helped me set a goal with exercising.

My weekly training initially consisted of running on the treadmill three times a week, each time for at least 5K. But by June, I was putting in so many hours at work that I would at most run once a week. I only started running 10k or more when I finished work in late August. And it was the first time I ran outside during my whole training.

So in hindsight it was a miracle that I even finished the race. Because of my miscalibrated nikeplus sensor, turns out I had never actually run 21k before the race. But I've discovered that distance running is primarily mental training. It's made me more focused in everything I do because of how goal-oriented you become. Running is such an easy thing to pick up and is something in which you can actually improve your performance with incremental goal setting and commitment.

So...anyone wants to join me next year?

The real Sarah Palin on SNL this saturday!

2008-10-17T23:34:00.003-04:00

And I just wished the Republicans would let McCain shine a little. He can't use a teleprompter but he sure beats Obama when it comes to acting:

McCain as Creepy Husband on SNL from 2002

McCain - Streisand